The Desk.

I feel I need to define where I stand on a few things. There are a lot of issues being debated these days where no debate is necessary. What follows is a series of issues that all have a very simple and straight forward solution that iliminates the need for discussion.

Issue: Legalization of marijuana
By all means, legalize it. This is the land of the free. If people are free to throw their lives away with alcohol, tobacco, and any other means they see fit, why not marijuana? If that money was legitimate, it could greatly improve the economy, and hey, why don't we tax it, too. I feel the same way about gambling and prostitution. The responsibility is on the consumer. The government should not be responsible for stupid people and stupid decisions. All we have to do is...... DON'T BE STUPID.

Issue: Abortion
People ought to be free to do as they see fit with their body, but if you don't even let them get out of the womb, how can they do it? On the other hand, look at the demographic this problem affects. I'm morally opposed to abortion, but do we really want these children to grow up in that environment? And of course there's those cases of immediate danger to the woman, etc., but those are isolated incidents that should be given consideration separate from the primary issue. Rather than regulation after the fact, let's try to avoid the situaion in the first place. Don't make it illegal, just educate people to make better decisions. The only good solution is...... DON'T BE STUPID.

Issue: Making personal problems someone else's fault
I'm talking about the people that sue McDonald's for making them fat, or the people that sue a store because they slipped and fell on the property. That's just stupid. You know the nutrititional value of the food, and you chose to eat there every day; you didn't have to. The owner of the business is not responsible for your stupidity. Again, the responsibilty is on the consumer. There's a very simple solution to this problem that I like to call..... DON'T BE STUPID.

Issue: Professional atheletics
You play a sport for your job, what do you need so much money for? You play a sport for your job, why should we care about your personal life? You play a sport for your job, why do the Clippers suck so badly? Professional atheletics is a fascinating cultural phenomenon to behold. We pay these men millions to play a game we could play for free in the backyard, less the cost of equipment. College is different because there's honor and glory and respect there, and college atheletics is an extracurricular activity that should suplement an academic pursuit, not replace it. But pro is makes a mockery of the sports. My solution calls for us to...... BOYCOTT!

Ha! I had you going there, didn't I? You see what I did there, huh? Yeah, threw a little curve at ya. I'm a loose cannon; I'm unpredictable. I'm on the edge and I might just snap. Bitch.

So as I sat there in the jacuzzi watching the drunks, everything became clear. They weren't on vacation like everyone else; they were from Florida, part of a construction crew there to put in the floor of a new hotel. Chris had bought the night's beer and was glad to share it with his friends, but when Nick took the last one, choice words were had. Dominique said it wasn't the first time, and that he nearly fought with Nick the previous night over something similar. They were funny to watch, but I was glad I was between them and John. He and Sam weren't used to that type of language being used so profusely, and I was constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure Mark wasn't coming. When the argument got a little rowdier, the men were asked to leave, by Dominique. The little nine-year-old boy thanked him profusely for this. Before the two were completely drunk, and the last beer was taken, we had been having a good time. The large, bald, heavily tatooed guy across from me, whose name I never caught, was something of the ring leader. He, too, was with the construction crew, and was originally from Ohio. Whenever someone new came to the hot tub, he was the one to spark conversation. Sandy and Frank, a couple in their 50's from Pennsylvania, liked to hunt, and a lively discussion was had on the matter. She was in shipping, and had a muscular physique that made us all question her age; he had been in the military, and had a smoking habit that had aged him well beyond his wife. Then there came an old man with only one eye and a story he was probably tired of telling. No one asked; our assumption was that it was from the War, or possibly he was a pirate. Two boys came in and, because of their hair cuts and attire, they were asked if they were 'surfer dudes.' They were from southern Ohio, and rarely saw an ocean. Nick said they ought to have said yes to the question, for the purpose of impressing the young ladies who had come with me. Twins from Tennesse came with their older brother, who did not appreciate Nick's inappropriate comments toward them. In addition to his flirting, they talked about the local nightlife, and concluded that there were no good clubs in the area. Shortly after the brother left, the girls' father came to moniter the goings on. This did not impede the inebriated fool, and the girls were escorted away. At this point the comment was made that nowadays, it's hard to tell when you see a hot girl if she's 13 or 35, so it's best to make sure you have all the information you need before attempting anything fresh. A couple of recent high school graduates from South Carolina joined us, and we discussed college, and how much Nick had hated his schooling. A man of 22 came to the party, and shared his cigarettes with some of the others. I didn't catch his name or anything else, but his calm demeanor was a pleasant contrast to Nick's drunken antics. Later, two foreign-sounding gentlemen came in. I could tell they were some kind of French from their accents, and it turns out they were from Quebec, so I didn't do bad on that call. There wasn't too much conversation outside of Nick and Chris's little fight, but we were all thoroughly entertained by it, even several people on their balconies just above us. Those two came back about an hour later, more drunk and still arguing, but we were present to witness the end of the fight. They did not wish to jeopardize their friendship over something so petty, and they wanted to enjoy their last evening at the beach, which had just that day become their vacation.

Now why did I just tell you all of that? Surely I wouldn't tell you the details of my own pathetic life just for the entertainment value. I could have been watching the convention. I don't know what the convention has to do with anything, and frankly I don't care. We were just a dozen ex-strangers having a good time trading stories and watching two drunks fight.

It's time to ask yourself what matters more. Or does any of it matter at all?

Every human culture that has ever graced the Earth has held some form of religious or spiritual practice. This aspect of human nature cannot be ignored. It is evident that man craves this spiritual side of himself, but that does not mean he should embrace it. I propose that religion is no different from any other desire to which we might want to give in. Religion is the result of lust, of surrendering to this desire for spirituality, just as obesity results from gluttony. Religion is the ultimate plague, brought on as a punishment for  the sin of spirituality. It takes a similar strength of character to overcome the pressures of religion as it does any other human craving. In addition, it can be used as a defense mechanism, or a sheild under which to hide from real problems, and it presents innumerable other problems for our species. Every time you pray, you commit a sin far worse than gluttony or avarice; when you worship, you bring down by so much the good name of Mankind. It is noble for a man to go without worldly possessions, so is it not even more noble to deny onesself the guilty pleasures of religion?

 Why then do we celebrate this failure? Why to we continue to submit ourselves to such psychological hazing? My proposal is this: rise above religion, stand up for yourself, and don't ever give in to spiritual lust.

Once again, the communists have resorted to putting words in my mouth and attacking my personal integrity. We don't take too kindly to that here in the South, so I will give you one final rebuttal (trying to maintain as much of a professional attitude as possible), and, because economics neither concerns nor interests me, I will leave that to y'all and I will go on to discuss other things. After all, I am not obligated to reply to your comments, but I will defend my position since I'm the only one around to do it.

I never said I don't want to help poor people; you assume too much. I'm all for helping anybody at any opportunity I get. If you want to sit back and let the government fiddle around with your money, then by all means sit back, but I would rather take action.

I have two words to describe how I feel about government (and organized religion, coincidentally) - gross misappropriation. Being the cynic that I am, I will automatically trust myself and the people I know best to handle things like finances over any sort of institution. Also, I examine everything the government (and organized religion, coincidentally) tells me as a probable lie, scam, trick, or other weapon of psychological warfare. A committee might get more done than an individual, but the individual is more likely to do it right because he has his own interests at heart, and that will motivate him to do the best thing. Now we get into the question of morality; can we trust individuals to make the best decision? Of course not. The cardinal guiding principle shows us that much. But the same applies to committees and organizations of any kind, only it's far worse when you get people together.  Because of group polarization, an institution can be just as corrupt if not moreso than the people who make it up. Corruption, lies, and greed are the cornerstone of all governments (and organized religions, coincidentally), but find me a man of honor, of integrity, find me myself, and I will do it right. And if I'm doing it right, and y'all are doing it right, there's no need for the government to come in and screw it up. A person can be trusted, people fall victim to the cardinal guiding principle, especially people in power.

Interestingly enough, I intend to be a secondary school teacher; needless to say, I aint gonna be no eccentric billionaire oil tycoon or whatever it is you seem to think I am. I believe the children are our future, but only if we beat some sense into those brain-damaged fools, more on that to come.

Don't think I don't see what's going on here. You're trying to make me out to be the bad guy. I agree that society is unfair to the less fortunate. That's why they're less fortunate. But the problem is not lack of legal interference; the problem is too much interference. Moderns have been raised in a culture where it is acceptable to forgo human decency and therefore we have lost the concept of human dignity. People have learned what games they need to play to get by, and exactly how much they can get away with. You give them an inch and they will take a mile; that's how people are. Of course, that's already happening.

As I have previously explained, industrialization is the ruin of the Earth. There are too many people trying to survive in a world that cannot support them, and this is a result of industrialization. The rise of cities was the worst thing that could have ever happened to anybody, in all respects. There is nothing that can be done about it because this culture is too deeply embedded in the people, and to change its course would cause great turmoil. The only good solution is to revert back to the way we had been living for thousands of years, but that is impossible now. Essentially, we've been screwed since Sumer, and it has gotten infinitely worse in the last two centuries. The only thing we can do now is let nature run its course. It's not pretty, but neither was how we got this way.

Granted, my thought process runs a little broader than yall's, but I play the game a little bit differently. I look at the big picture, and I will not be moved with tales of pity and pathos.

"It is better to be silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt."
 
I talk too much. I do not enjoy talking, but I often end up doing it more than I should. When I'm uncomfortable, or when I think I'm being entertaining, I tend to say things, things that need not be said. Many of you know that I have no real voice. This is because I used to speak with a great booming voice, ill becoming of a man of my miniscule stature. I was either ridiculed or patronized every time I said anything, so I learned to supress it. Until I was about 15, I spoke only when spoken to, and so I never fully developed that particular feature, a voice, that is. Those days were good; I sat silent in the corner with a smirk on my face and everybody thought I knew something, which I did. I knew I needed to keep my mouth shut. I'd let people talk who like to talk, watch and listen intently (to pick up on things), and people seemed to like that because they thought I cared. Remember, everyone with whom you come into contact will judge you in some way. Excessive talking is a sign of weakness, and by the same token, silence shows confidence. I gradually forgot this pillar of stoicism, and became the wretched spectacle you know today. So I need to not talk so much. I need to go back like I was before. That way, when I do say something, its impact is greater and not just dismissed as Watson's ramblings. I need to cut down on the random, unnecessary things I say. I need to streamline my speech, direct myself if you will, in order to build this character of Watson into what I want you to think it is.
 
I also need to get away from this damn computer.

There are two great evils in the world: religion and job specialization. Religion is a dead horse that still needs beating, but for now I'll jump on the latter.
 
'Berry and The Jake have each made similar posts about progress for progress' sake. There comes a point when we simply don't need things to be any more advanced, when there is no significant logistical or productive purpose to this progress. I'd venture to say that the point in question occured 6,000 or so years ago, or even so much as 10,000, but somewhere back in there, somebody decided it would be a good idea to engage in job specialization. As soon as that happened, everything went downhill. We developed the idea that little chits of some rare metal could represent the value of a good or service, and economics was born. Somebody got rich, the rest didn't, and we still haven't sorted out how to fix that, or even if it can or should be fixed. That's one result; the other is far worse.
 
Once we started specializing, folks were free to engage in other tasks. We invented implements of the hunt, which, when the rich guy decided he was king of everybody around him, became implements of war. We invented the arts for communication and to preserve our honorable culture, and when we saw that ours was different from theirs, it became a call for war. We kept inventing new technologies and going through shifts in theology, and we could never draw a line. There have always been conservatives trying to maintain the present way, if not the past, and there have always been liberals pushing us to new depths. This pattern can only end if we draw the line somewhere. We must say "Wait, friend, is this really doing us any good, or are we as well off as we need to be?" Is that possible, or will the liberals keep pushing us until we destroy the world?
 
The destruction of freedom has already occured, what with religion and currency and government and other things I discussed above. It's a system we can't escape, no matter where you are on the political spectrum or where you live in the world. But what's worse is that modern technologies and practices are encroaching on the destruction of the very Earth on which we reside; they have been for 6,000 years of human "acheivement."

I don't know how this little economics lesson got started, but I feel the need to balance it out. We can't have you liberals running around unsupervised now, can we?

Welfare has never and never will help anything. One of you said earlier that we ought to give everybody, poor or not, a flat sum of money from the government. Now, if everybody is given the same amount of money, no matter how much it is, that amount becomes the poverty line. Inflation will occur in correspondence with the increase in cash flow. The poor will still be poor, the rich will still be rich. The only reason money is worth anything is because somebody else doesn't have as much. Therefore, you can help the poor by only helping some of them. I've always been a fan of the Roman patronage system. A poor person appeals to a richer person for financial assistance. The client makes his case and the patron decides whether he is worth the investment. We have banks that make loans in this fashion. The government cannot be involved in this whatsoever. If it is the government giving out money, then everybody has to get money, but with a private investment, the loan is based on actual qualifications. Of course a better way to help the poor is to give them a job. They can earn a paycheck, as well as provide a good or service to others. There's a novel idea. It's the same result as welfare, only they're being worthwhile and beneficial to society, instead of just sucking down the welfare checks and pumping out little baby democrats who can suck down more welfare. When the rich buy lots of useless crap, they're actually helping the economy. The people down in the factories and in the retail stores and in the mines all benefit from consumer purchases. Trickle-down works if you let it. The rich aren't the problem. But when that hard-earned money is stolen by the government to hand out to worthless welfare-sucking democrats, the economy suffers. Or when the government uses the money to build roads, the economy suffers (anybody driven anywhere in NC lately? your tax dollars at work). If you want to help somebody financially, do it with private investments, or start a business and give them a job. Inflation will still occur, that's inevitable with a stimulated economy, but at least they'll be doing something.

What's best for the individual is best for the whole. This is a nation of, for, and by the people. Don't just sit back and let the government take over.

Recently, I have found several of my friends increasingly concerned with romance, and quite frankly it baffles me. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the ladies and the ladies love me, sort of. I know all the moves and all the tricks and how to use them, and let's face it, I'm a beautiful man with brains and charm. I believe, quite truthfully, that I could bag just about any kill I put my sights on. Why, then, have I never been in a legitimate relationship? (That's right, I said it. Stricken from the record I say, and never to be discussed again.) Because I don't need to be. I don't need to spend everyday with the same person, and I'm sure no one needs to spend every day with me. What's the difference between having a girlfriend and not, when you go to everything with the same group of people anyway? Your arm happens to be around one of them. That's about the only difference I've seen. I don't want that much organization in my life, I don't want other people thinking for me. A man needs the freedom to do what he wants with whom he wants. But as soon as you start labelling things, you get in trouble. There's an obligation there once you put that name on the relationship, and that is completely unnecessary. It makes things seem like more than they really are, and makes it that much harder (logistically, not emotionally) to get out. There's no reason for my life to be consumed by one person, and I hate to think that some poor girl's life is consumed by me, I don't want to put that on anybody.

Now I suppose you'll want to tell me something about somebody being in love with somebody. This is false. It is a myth. It is hormones and desperate codependency. I don't care who she is, you're better off without her. Relationships will only slow you down, and eventually kill you.

Now, if there's any of you out there who aren't already matched up and paired off like throroughbreds, and would like to prove me wrong, I will gladly accept your call because this is one of the few things on which I'd really like to be wrong, even though I know beyond a shadow of a doubt the truth of my words. Call me anyway, we'll have fun, but don't call me your boyfriend.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've al been waiting for....StuporPoem #2!!!! That's right, while hiking (running) back from Ute Gulch (Tartaros), on the brink of dehydration and heat stroke, this poem entered my head, and now I deliver it to you, and as always, I apologize in advance.

The enemy is coming, so
Roll out the rifle and fire,
Your enemy's life is no more,

But still they keep coming so
Roll out the cannon and fire,
Your enemy's army is no more,

But still they keep coming so
Roll out the torches and fire,
Your enemy's town is no more,

But still they keep coming so
Roll out the bombs and fire,
Your enemy's country is no more,

But still they keep coming so
Roll out the nukes and fire,
Your enemy's world is no more,

But suddenly you realize that "Oh,
My enemy's world is my own,
My own world is no more,
My own country is no more,
My own town is no more,
My own army is no more,
My own life is no more."

We're all screwed.

Let's take a minute to pick apart this lovely governing system of ours, shall we? We have several options at our disposal:

1) Everyone turns into a democrat - Wealth is shared eaqually among the people through the government, and that same government is responsible for regulating everything that goes on. We move from Democracy to Socialist Utopia to Communism to corrupt dictatorship. No one knows how to run their own life anymore because they have been taken care of by the government, which is now corrupt, sucking up all the money and using for roads that never get built, gays marry each other, and nobody can be blamed for anything because nothing is anybody's fault, and we're all screwed.

2) Everyone turns conservative - The country is run by the wealthy, who only get wealthier, while the bottom 98 percent of the people are left in squalor. The middle class disappears because all their jobs have moved overseas and we've reverted back to an industrial revolution 'i owe my soul to the company store' situation. The religious right takes over and no one is free to speak differently. The richest of the rich and most religious of the right rises up to rule the nation, goes on a tyrade across the middle east in the name of freedom, but all he's really after is oil. We move from Democracy to Capitalist Paradise/Church-State to Oligarchy to corrupt empire. No one knows how to run their own life anymore because they've got no live left to run, we're all waiting on Jesus to come deliver us from ourselves, everyone's afraid to leave their house because there's rioting in the streets, but the good news is inflation is down, but we're all screwed.

3) Everyone sits the fence - No one can come to a decision on anything, not even in their own opinion. We're afraid of the options above, so we pick and choose what to have an opinion on because we know what'll happen if the policies of either side are actually carried out. We're all two-faced backstabbing slimeballs and you can't trust what anybody says because they're only trying not to piss you off. There are no more extremists on either end, and we all end up voting independent. We move from Democracy straight to the depths of Hell. We're invaded by Canada and all we can do is sit back and watch. We don't defend ourselves because the Rebuplicans are gone, but what's worse is that we can't even whine because the Democrats are gone, too. Nobody knows how to run their life anymore but it doesn't matter because now we're a cult of beaver pelt wearing, maple syrup drinking lumberjacks who have never seen or heard of civilized man. We could care less about the fate of the world because we have no way of directing it, and we're all screwed.

4) Stay where we are - The country is more divided now than it has been since the War of Yankee Aggression, and we've got people running around who think one of the first two is a good idea. These people get together and brawl, then they drag the whole country into it. Moore sits back with a camera in one hand and a doughnut in the other, recording the whole thing for biased posterity, while across the street, W and his hunting buddies are picking off hippies with a .22 (not that that's a bad thing) We move from Democracy to Tribal Factions, the Republicans prevail because that's thier strong suit, and from there we're back at #2, and we're all screwed.

The solution, you ask? I bet you thought I was going to conclude this with one of my usual simple answers to which I arrived by whittling down to the bare essence of life and rooting out the source of the problem and eliminating it, didn't you? Well, sorry to disappoint you, but there is no solution. Every government is destined to fall sooner or later, and I'd say 228 years is pretty damn good, the best of all time, in fact. But this is the end, folks, and we're here to see it. It was fun while it lasted, but now we're all screwed.







I'm just joshin' -- Vote Kerry-Edwards, we'll be fine.
Vote Bush-Cheney, we'll be fine.

I don't have the strength of mind for a real post, and probably won't for several days, so here's this. I apologize in advance, but hey, I still got most of the rest of yall beat.

What comes to mind when you hear..
..snow?:	-ball fight
..rain?:	must be 2:00
..tornado?:	we aint in Kansas no more
..summer love?:	why?
..Jon?:	yea, what about him?
..Mike?:	gimpy old knot-tyin' fool
..Shea?:	jew
..banana?:	split
..dizzy?:	a little
..Laura?:	man, that takes me back
..Juan?:	not that i recall
..car?:	JEEP
..white?:	who you callin white?
..peppermint?:	sweet business
..New Found Glory?:	ummmm.....come again?
..placebo?:	psych class
..orange juice?:	sure, but only if you don't have tea
..candid camera?:	not that i'm aware of
..sister?:	black women
..brother?:	Aaron
..hate?:	no, mostly just rage
..school?:	UNCW
..President?:	makes us look bad, us meaning the South
..football?:	Roll Tide
..rap?:	ok in moderation
..pop?:	more of an onomotopea really than music
..rock?:	and roll
..punk?:	fool jive turkey
..sex?:	sweet action
..death?:	"all men die, not all men truly live"
..baby?:	6-quart collapsible msr water tank
..duuude?:	i'm tellin you, man
..the end?:	sweet business

The Survey Where You Say The First Word That Comes To Mind. Yay. brought to you by BZOINK!

I love the morning. I love getting up early and getting everything done so I have the afternoon. One particular morning, last Tuesday maybe, or Wednesday, (you lose track of the days out there, and the time too, save the position of the sun) I went for a private walk just after sunrise. As I strode up the hill, I gazed down upon the valley, the little wandering stream, and a mule deer that had come down out of the hills. He was sniffing around near our dining fly where somebody spilled some mashed potatoes last night. Several mini-bears darted back into their burrows as I passed, other just scampered off. I looked West and saw the golden tint of the dawn upon a rocky crag. That's where we ate lunch yesterday before the lightning came. The lightning is good sometimes, we can hike faster. I got to where I was going and watched as my fellows began to stir to life down below. A few were already out and about, oblivious of the deer. I looked the other way down the valley, towards the rising sun, as the warm glow slowly stretched across the pines on the opposite bank. This butte of mine was home to an assortment pies, which I would later roll down the cliff in front of me, accompanied by Strawberry. But for now I simply sat and enjoyed the sounds of morning in the great woods, knowing that there could well be a mountain lion or a bear less than a mile away, back in those woods someplace. It was good that that deer found the potatoes first. Fresh dew and sap flooded my nostrils; I soaked up the view and the sensations, and when the time came, I wiped, closed the lid, and hiked back down to camp.