The Desk.

I've figured out part of the reason I talk so damn much. Part of it, as we've always known, is that I, along with most of the world, desperately crave your attention and approval. That's what a life-long inferiority complex will do to you. That's being worked on. But another underlying reason behind my circumloquation is that I hate people. That's right, just follow me on this one. I hate people, which means I hate it when people talk to me. Therefore, if I go ahead and commondere the conversation, the other people won't talk at me. It doesn't really matter who's on the other end if I'm the one doing the talking. That way all my social interactions are like it's still just me. I know you don't care what I have to say, especially when I'm telling a story that I know I've already told you, just like you know I don't care what you have to say. I know this, and so I really don't care if you listen or not. But I figure if I have to be around people, I might as well talk at them so they don't talk at me. I described this to Derrick the other day and he said he felt the opposite; that if he just stayed quiet and let people talk, then they wouldn't bother him. An excellent strategy and it worked for me for many years. So then, there's two types of people in the world: those who talk to avoid being talked to, and those who avoid talking to avoid being talked to, either way nobody wants to hear about your pathetic excuse for a life. Solution: let people talk who like to talk, and don't make people talk who don't want to, and otherwise just shut up and keep it to yourself, myself included. Brevitas virtus est.