Concerns about my motivation have come up recently from several of you, so I feel I should explain exactly why I do whatever it is I do. First you have to understand that I don't actually do anything, but rather I just talk about it. Much like the Catholic church, I am able to manipulate your perception of the truth only because you let me. We all have a good laugh when I write at someone else's expense because everybody knows nothing I write really has anything to do with anything, and it's just a lot of fun, until of course my pen turns to you, then you seem to forget. This is the only reason I'm able to continue, though, because if you all finally realized the truth, you wouldn't react the way you do and we wouldn't have fun. You see, that's what this is, this is fun, life is a game. Even now, as I reveal to you all what you should already know, you won't believe me. But the question still remains why. What do I stand to gain from this manipulation that I don't get just watching Seinfeld? The answer is nothing. I don't do it for me. Being a minimalist, a man of principle, and a man who truly doesn't give damn, I am not concerned about me. You should try it once, just stop giving a damn about yourself and look at the madness around you. If I cared about me I'd probably try to be a nice guy and make you all like me and try to get something out of you. But as it stands I do all this just for you. Don't you see I'm doing you a service? Yes, I'm an ass, most guys are, but most of them won't let you know that until they've already done their damage. I'm here to show you how we all really are. The difference is I'm honest about it. You may not appreciate me now, but look around. Listen to these girls talk about their jerk boyfriends and jerk exboyfriends and jerk flings and jerk every other guy they know, and just watch it unfold before you that Watson was right. I'm trying to save you that trouble by just showing you the truth in the only way I know how. Because I can say all I want about how relationships and courtship and all this doesn't make any damn sense and nobody listens to me. And that's when people get hurt. So I have to manipulate the truth and the situation in order to get you to see what really goes on. So when the jerk happens to you, whenever that is, you'll know that Watson was right. Watson was right about everything.
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