The Desk.

Y'all like to pretend that being pretentious like me is a fatal character flaw because it makes you look like better people, and I'm glad to do you the service of being your stepping stone to sainthood, but you know it's assholes like me that run the world. Belive it or not, I do actually have an ideological basis for being an arrogant, egotistical cock. I'm still working on a justification for being a sarcastic asshole, but for now it's just fun and that's reason enough. As a fiscal conservative, I place my trust in the spirit of competition in a free market to facilitate progress and success, and that you have to be prepared to go to the wall and stick to whomever you have to stick it to to make it in this world, even if that means being a real jerk, but this ideology is rooted in something deeper than economics or how much fun is to be had being an ass. Y'all tell me I have too big an ego for my own good, but allow me to show you why we'd all be a lot better off as a society if we all had egos like mine. Given that most of the problems people face are their own fault, the solution is for the people to take responsibility for themselves. If more people took on the attitude that they're the only one who can live their life, then you wouldn't have people leeching off the rest of us because they'd have too much pride to accept charity. Similarly, people with egos like mine treat their bodies better and are healthier than anybody else. People like me accept only the best from ourselves and our surroundings, and because of that, we are forced to keep our bodies, minds, and environment in peak condition. Alcoholism, drug addiction, obesity, and other self-imposed health problems would be things of the past if people had enough respect for themselves not to do things they know are stupid. Also, people with a high self-image don't develop eating disorders or depression. For me it's about self-control and maintaining an image, if only for myself; others may find some other reason like an ism that gives them pride and self-respect, but either way that's what it comes down to. It's because I think I'm better than you that I force myself to maintain a high level of acheivement in everything I choose to engage in. After all, if I'm to talk the way I do, I've got to be able to back it up - a falsely inflated self-image can be just as dangerous as a low one. Note my use of the phrase "everything I choose to do." The pride I'm talking about, and the pride I can really take stock in has to do with knowing your abilities. Yes, I talk a lot of filth that everybody knows is just hype; the key is that I know it's hype, too, and what I'm really capable of, the rest is just me having fun. I know what I can and can't do, and that's why I make sure everything I do do is something I'm good at, that way I'm good at everything I do. See what I did there? Anyway, the point I'm building up to is that self-respect is the cornerstone of a healthy community, not just for each individual, but in their relations as well. It is your respect for yourself and your own health and life that gives you a sense of the sanctity of all life. Look at all these mass-murderer types (Excluding the institution of the church. Even though they're worse, I'm talking about individuals.) and you'll find that they all have nothing to lose. They don't care whether they live or die, and so they have no concept of what your life means to you. But, pissed of as I am about everything, I've got too much too lose, I've got too good of a thing going to do that. I love life because I'm awesome at it; I've got an ego that could feed Alaska, but it's the reason I keep myself and my surroundings in a state of perpetual perfection. And it's because I am so paramountly important to myself that I can only assume that everybody else feels the same way about themselves. It is this faith in the ego that allows me to develop a firm belief in the sanctity of life.