To her father, who has offended and confused me:
As with anything, there's an easy way and a hard way to do this, and you're just begging me to throw the easy way out the window. The easy way, which you so desperately want to be rid of, would involve me simply stopping by for a weekend, maybe three days, hang out, and not cause anybody any trouble. But since you seem to think I'm such a big threat, I might just have to prove you right. You could have just let me slip quietly through, and we would have all had some good clean fun, but if you want to believe certain things about me, I'll have to let you have them. Learn to trust me and I won't be any trouble, but if you want to believe I'm up to something, then I will be. This isn't even about her anymore; this is about you and me. This is about proving a point, and that means I'll take this to the wall and stop at nothing to bring the bow-hammer down on your backwards and ridiculous ideas. When I tried before, I was told you said you didn't want any of the males at the house unless they were a boyfriend. Apparently you assumed there would be certain business going down, and you didn't want that happening unless he was the boyfriend. But that seems to me backwards, as if you didn't want it going on in the first place, why would you ask for a relationship in which there is a precedent for it? What I mean is that a boyfriend is an automatic threat, at least much more so than a guy who's just a guy and may or may not be a potential threat. I am, as far as you know, just a guy, but if that's the way you want it, that's the way you'll get it. I wouldn't have thought to capitalize on the opportnity in the way you fear, but since you've put it in my head, and in fact requested me to usurp the position of the boyfriend, I might just have to take it. I wouldn't otherwise have take part in any of the particular business you're afraid of, but if you insist I take the title before setting foot in your home, then I'll have to take it, and I'll have to take all the rights and precedents that go along with it. I'll help show you just how wrong you are for placing trust in the establishment. As much as I hate the system, I'll work in it, and I'll use all its rules to show it for what it is and tear it down from inside. But that's only going to be a problem if you decide to insist on it.
The main problem is getting there in the first place. According to my interpretation of the information I've recieved, it's not boys you percieve as a threat; it's just me. I know this because when it comes to those two little inarticulate community college Christian boys, you not only don't object to them, you in do in fact promote them. But I don't blame you for not trusting me; I just want to know why you don't trust her. You're falling right into line with everybody else who has stepped in here, and nobody has even stood a fighting chance, so if you think you're any different just because of who you are, you're going to have to come up with something besides guilt trips. But just like everybody else, you have either placed a disproportionate amount of faith in my powers, or a shockingly low amount of faith in hers. Believe me, if that's what I was after I would have gone after an easier target or seven. There's different goals at stake here; you should know that. Either way I've done my job to market myself as a God among among you. If you care to prove me wrong in this respect, then put a little trust in my flaws and let me show I'm human. Let me show you that my powers are not absolute. Of course if you do, you'll be giving me exactly what I wanted in the first place, and I still win.
There's another thing you're forgetting, too, and that's that she's on my side. It's going to happen whether you like it or not, so you might as well get used to it. By the way, I heard about that threat to cut off the money, and I'm calling your bluff. There's nothing you'll do and there's nothing you can do, and since you're doing nothing to stop me, and in fact only pissing me off, with your religious bigotry and empty threats, I'm going to give you nothing but the trouble you're asking for. This is your last chance for the easy way where I'm still the drug-and-alcohol-free Dean's list honors program Eagle Scout good guy.