Let me tell you another story, and this is one you haven't heard. You havent heard it because it was just Saturday that I remembered it even happened, let alone its significance. And just as a forenote, should any of the parties involved catch wind of this printing, know that it's nothing against any of you or some big secret I've been trying to hide. Like I said, it was just a couple days ago that I realized what the hell even happened. Anway, on to the story.
At some point during the year 2000, an individual developed an attraction for me. Keep in mind this is way before I got into my business, so even this was new to me. I still have issues accepting my status and abilities, as it were, so you can imagine how much it freaked me out to hear that stuff back then. You know who else it freaks out to hear that stuff; I told her she needs to settle down and get used to it before she ends up like me. But I'll get back to that whenever this story gets to a point. So there was this girl; that wasn't so weird. The crazy part was how the whole thing happened. My perceptive abilities were not as in-tune as they have become, and she kept it quiet from me for months. It wasn't until late that summer, about the time high school was starting that I even found out. And it was from somebody else. She told me all about what the girl had been telling her, and what she had seen. Then, in retrospect, it all seemed so obvious, and I got my first lesson in what to look for. I've used those very lessons to my advantage as recently as last week. So for me it started then, at which point the third party mediated went between us try and get us together, probably just for her own amusement and not, as she said then, because she "wanted to see her best friend happy." My first problem was that apparently it was my sole responsibility to initiate conversation and activity every single time, and she didnt have to do anything but wait for me. A related problem is that this girl never really gave me anything I could use. Even though I'd never been in that situation before, I knew something was off when I didn't ever know anything about it. Usually I got my information from the third party, and usually I didn't care. She became the puppet master of both of us, telling me when and how and what to say to make things go the way she thought we wanted them, not knowing I was freaked out by the whole thing in the first place. Had been for herself, I wouldn't have minded (don't tell nobody but she's the one I always saw myself with), or had the girl been in charge and not a third party, the might have even worked out. But as it stood... well, let me paraphrase a typical conversation between the third party and myself, put into realistic dialogue for my character:
Me: Did you need something?
Her: Yea, you need to call ____.
Me: Why is that again?
Her: Because you're her boyfriend.
Me: Am I? And when was she planning to elighten me of this development?
Her: Just call her, okay? For me?
Me: She doesn't talk to me, even if I call her.
Her: That's just cause she likes you.
Me: That made negative sense. If she wants to talk to me and be my boyfriend and all this, then why can't she call me instead of getting you to go in and tell me everything I'm supposed to do?
Her: She doesn't tell me to; I just know she wants you to call her. She thinks if she calls you, she'll seem desperate.
Me: Ah, now it comes out. So she doesn't know you're telling me to call... she thinks I'm calling because I just want to, is that what you're doing, then?
Her: No, she knows I talk to you for her. We talk about you all the time.
Me: Really? That's kinda sad. But that still doesn't explain why you have to do her dirty work.
Her: Because I want to see my best friend happy.
Me: You're out of your mind. This whole damn system doesn't make any sense. You know what? I'm done here.
So there you have it. Finally, the revelation of why Watson feels the need to stick it to the system. Obviously, just like with religion and pop culture and everything else I hate, it was a series of personal experiences that left a bad taste in my mouth, but ulimately it was the research and exploration that followed that presented me no other choice than to reject the establishment. I believe in individuals, and my stance doesn't change no matter what political, philosophical, or social issue is at stake. The individual with the best abilities, born or acquired, will ultimately end up in the best situation. Help yourself before you help your friends, and make sure you're getting what you want out of life. Now, my business is about research and results, but that's always been secondary to getting what I want, then I have fun with the puppetry, working in and around the truth. This may sound like just the bigotted ramlings of somebody born and bred to be on top, but the people with the most to offer are going to get the most, and the ones of those with the ability to go out and get it without relying on friends are going to get even more. These people not only helped me figure out what I've got and how to use it, but also how far I can go if I do use it.
I told you I would get back to the other person I mentioned at the top of the show. Mostly I just wanted to pull those of you into this who didn't know me way back, and of course nobody reads this who did know me way back. But the reason I bring it up is because of why I think all this happened, and because I've seen it brewing in your region of the world for some time. I was assaulted in this way because the other parties involved saw that I would probably not be comfortable with a direct approach, added to the already shy nature of the one, and they took what they believed to be necessary precautions to help us both. I've talked about how much I hate being patronized before, and I stand by what I said about the dangers and problems caused by underestimating your counterpart. You've got to accept the facts and take your status for granted in order that you might properly assume it. And learn to accept your powers in order that you might focus and control them to get what you want, and not get just every old thing flying at you. Assume you're the best, and don't accept anything but it from anybody else, and you'll turn out alright, but if anybody has any reason to believe you are less than, even if they mean well, as in my case, it's just not going to work.
On a final note, the main reason it didn't work, and I knew this then as now, is that she was a good six inches taller than me. I don't care what the other details of the situation are, they could be perfect, but that will never ever work.
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