People have accused me of being a lot of things I'm not, so to clear up confusion among the pinnacle of ignorance that is Christendom, here are some things I am not (and yes, I have been called all these things recently):
I am not a Christian. Have you met me?
I am not a heretic. A heretic is someone who is a member of a religous group and actively practices the religion, but disagrees with some aspect of how the formal church establishment does its business. They may want to split away from the church or create reform from within, but either way it is the institution with which they have their quarell, and they do not argue the religion itself. Notable heretics include Martin Luther and Geoffrey Chaucer, among others.
I am not a Pagan. Paganism is a term used by Christians to describe any one of several Earth-based polytheistic or animistic traditions of Britain and Northern Europe popular between the fall of Rome and the spread of Christianity to those areas. Many involve witchcraft and/or Earth worship, but the term can be applied to any pre-Christian rituals in Europe, but not simply to anyone who is not Christian. The reason for this is that technically the term refers to someone who has not been exposed to Christianity. For this reason, even a modern person who practices one of these traditions cannot, by definition, be a Pagan. Notable Pagan traditions include both the Norse and Greco-Roman pantheons, as well as Druidism and Wicca.
I am not a Satan worshipper. The idea of Satan is found only in Christian theology, and even they can't decide among themselves exactly what the deal is there. The fact remains that I put exactly as much stock in Satan as I do in God, which is none. God does not exist, neither does Satan; I don't know where you got the idea that I believe in Satan.
All that having been said, I hate ignorant Christians, and it genuinely surprised and scares me that people still follow that ridiculous and archaic cult.