Scene 1: Chancellor's Walk, UNCW Campus. Thurs, Nov. 17, 2005. 11:00 am.
Two hungover Christian democrats are on their way to a morning class for the third time in one semester, preferably played by actors from the midwest because they have that horrible whiny, nasally accent that's offensive to a sophistocated person's senses.
Hungover Christian Democrat 1: It's so early. I'm cold. My feet are cold. My ears are cold.... etc.
Hungover Christian Democrat 2: In addition to complaining about it, why don't we just blame it on George W. Bush? I hear that's an effective strategy for abandoning the responsibility for your own decisions. After Katrina, we learned that rich old white men control the weather, so let's just say that our frostbitten extremities are falling off because the president failed to inform us that winter was coming.
HCD 1: Okay, but first we have to pray to Jesus to help us in our time of need. Surely He will send down jackets and mittens from on high because we are believers.
HCD 2: Then it is agreed. We shall sit here in the cold and wait for Jesus to make us warm again, and when people ask us what we are doing we'll sing a song about how rich white people make it winter to keep black people out of power because they know we will just sit here in the cold and wait for Jesus to make us warm instead of putting on a coat and going to class. Then they will pity us and take care of us like Jesus and the government were supposed to do.
HCD 1: Hey, that means we get to blame Bush for our poor GPA's as well.
HCD 2: That's right, because we're protesting. Also because it was a white conservative atheist who told us that coats keep you warm in the cold and that we ought not to drink so much that it interferes with our decision-making, and that we cannot expect the government or mythical characters to take care of us, and that we ought to go to classes, then all of those things must not be true. Clearly these are lies invented by Satan and the president to decieve black people into failure, which is why we did not listen to them and now we're freezing, hungover, skipping class, and waiting for Jesus and the government to save us. Obviously the only option at our disposal is to ignore any real solutions to real problems and kill the atheist in the name of God. That's what the Bible says anyway. Then we'll burn his American flag and country music cd's.
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