Now I understand the hatred Christians have for the black-hearted atheist fools like me. It is less a hatred than a contemptuous pity, a pitiful contempt. I understand this because it's the same way I see most people too. Don't they understand that they are committing a deplorable sin with every breath? Don't they understand that there will be no joy in their empty, petty lives? I find myself using the same rhetoric the Christians use towards me, because no word short of sin can be used, and the very same eternal fate is at stake. This is more than a matter of religious belief; it is a matter of identity, morality, and destiny. Who we are, how we should live, and what is the point of it all. Is that religion? It needs not invoke a relationship with the supernatural or divine, so I would not venture to call it a religious matter. However, Malinowski's functonalist definition states that whatever institution serves to answer those questions about morality and destiny is religion. So do we define religion by its characteristics, or by the function it serves? By Malinowski's definition, I am fundamentally religious.
This is the shape of my world, and this is how I answer those questions: Where did we come from? Who am I? How ought I to live? What is the point of all this? All this existence... it is the pursuit of perfection. The answer to all four is the pursuit of perfection. Not much detail is necessary, but this very simple concept is essential to my understanding of existence. It's almost a Darwinian thought process. Consider biological evolution. Every species, every ecosystem is constantly in pursuit of perfection, and in a continuous state of change. But somewhere in that change is a stability, a perfection for that time and place and set of selective circumstances. It requires change, adaptation, and especially diversity. Whatever species were perfect for their ecosystem 10 million years ago, would not be perfect now. The same concept can be applied beyond biology. The same economic, political, and social structures that functioned perfectly for a split second a thousand years ago would not work today, nor would ours work then, or in a different society. After all, society is an ecosystem of its own. I would apply the same to an individual. Perfection is not an ultimate goal, nor a permanent state to be achieved, nor is it by any means universally consistent. So what ideal are we to pursue? Consider the endless billions of possibilities for life that could exist but don't. The very fact that each of us is here, that each thing exists the way it does, is a sort of perfection. Every other possibility somehow fell short, and was incapable of survival in this time and place. Life itself is perfection. We are the elect, we are the chosen, by the simple fact that we exist, we've passed the test. This idea has given me new respect for humanity, and for all life. For that reason, every person, no matter how wretched and grotesque a heathen they may act, has earned the right to exist.
Thus we've reached the origin of my simultaneous contempt for too much of humanity. These lazy, ignorant savages can't see that they have sinned against existence, against humanity, and against themselves. You are perfect, start acting like it. It is a pity, but it is worse than that. Their lives are a waste of that perfection. Their genetic composition and social position saw fit to grant them with a perfectly functioning mind and body, and grant them every need for survival and success. And they waste it all. They waste that potential to pursue perfection in some useful endeavor. If a thing can be done, then it can be done perfectly. Why pursue anything less than that? Why pursue mediocrity? It doesn't matter really what endeavor, because diversity and change are essential, but why not pursue perfection? I see this as sinful on the same level that Christians see transgretions of their faith. It violates what I see as our ultimate identity and purpose. I see it as an insult to humanity and to existence, much as blasphemy is an insult to God. They are so like children, ignorant and simple, blind to the light. How can I condemn children? Their ignorance is innocent. Or is it? It's almost like Original sin, this notion that we, though created in the image of perfection, inevitably fall short of that grace. It's easier to believe there's nothing we can do about that; it lets us off the hook and gives us an excuse to settle for mediocrity. We're all guilty. From birth we're all black-hearted fools, guilty to our very core of falling short of our rightful providence. By nothing but the divine grace of existence are we unworthy wretches held above the abyss of extinction. It'd be easy to believe that. It's so easy to hate people. But I have to believe there is perfection, and that we can pursue it.
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