"A pair of hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer."
Prayer has got to be man's most retarted invention since god itself. You have to admit that, even if you're a Christian. (Just to make it interesting, I'm going to do this without even touching the problem of evil.)
First of all, what's with the hands? What does that do? An omniscient god would hear your prayer even if you had your hands up your ass like you do the rest of the time. Luckily, there is no god, so it doesn't matter.
Now, assuming god is omniscient, wouldn't it already know what you were thinking anyway? What's the necessity in communicating with something that already knows everything and can read your mind?
Enough with mechanics, what does prayer actually do? Exactly dick. Grown ups don't talk to imaginary friends. Every legitimate scientific study has shown that prayer has exactly no statistical importance to anything. Because God doesn't exist.
Okay, so God doesn't answer all prayers. Or, my favorite he answers either "yes, no, or wait." Well, if you prayed to a jug of milk, I could tell you the same thing. Any "answered" prayer is nothing more than coincidence, and the statistical probability is exactly the same as everyone else's, no matter what god they do or do not pray to. Because God doesn't exist.
But let's pretend for a minute that God does exist, and that he's omnipotent and omniscient like you said. (insert standard problem of evil dialogue here). That being said, the problem goes beyond that. You rationalize your unanswered prayers by saying that God has a divine plan. Well, if he's going to do whatever he wants anyway, what the fuck are you praying for?
If you're asking God for shit, you're an asshole. Even if it's not for you, if it's for world peace or to end famine, or somebody's disease or some bullshit, you're still an asshole. Where do you get off in the presumption that God actually gives a shit about any of this? Let the record show, let existence itself show, that he clearly does not. Because God doesn't exist. Or either he's a prick.
And most of this praying happens on Sunday. Even assuming God is your friend, what kind of way is that to treat a friend, asking for favors on his day off? You're an asshole.
So maybe you're not praying for things or blessings, maybe you're just praying to thank God for his merciful bounty. Bullshit, quit showing off. That's between you and God, and if your sincerity is genuine, wouldn't your God alreay know your sincerity? So what the fuck are you praying for?
And finally, if nothing else, it's fucking rude. I'm trying to have a conversation with you in a restaurant, and as soon as our food comes, you have to embarrass me by cutting me off to talk to your imaginary friend, and then act all smug like you're better than me for it. Christians are assholes.
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