Happy Veterans' Day, everyone.
As you all know, Veterans' Day is the day when America honors the people who have served our country in armed service by getting the day off work to go sit on their fat lazy asses stuffing their fat ugly faces with all kinds of god-awful pseudofood. And after sitting through three quarters of their shitty movie surrounded by all the other fat ugly lazy fucks, they come out and complain about how shitty the movie was, and about how all the fat fucks are loud and smell like ass and feet. Then, resisting the urge to tell them how they're no different, and how they came to me to buy their greasy shit food, and they're the ones who decided to see such a shitty movie in the first place, I have to tell them we can't give a refund after you've already seen the whole movie. Yes, the popcorn is fresh, and yes, it's supposed to be salty, and quite frankly I don't think your thoughtful choice of diet coke is going to help anything. Except maybe encourage your obviously poor taste in everything from food to entertainment. And learn to speak English you lazy fuck. At least the immigrants have a fucking excuse - they speak Spanish. What the fuck language do you speak? What did you want? An apple cinammon pretzel and a coke icee? Pronounce the fucking consonants and I might consider ringing it up. God forbid I should ask you to spell it out, we'll be here all night. But of course nowadays nobody's responsible for their own behavior. Everybody's got a condition, everybody's got medication to alleviate their condition. That fat ugly fuck isn't a fat ugly fuck, he's got a genetic gland condition. It's not that he can't read or count, the fucker's got "cultural differences." Cultural differences my ass, anybody can learn how to read; you're just a lazy, ignorant fuck. And ugly people. What the fuck? I guess I can't blame the ugly people, they can't help it. But ugly people's parents, what the fuck. You should have known. You should have looked in the mirror and know your progeny was going to look like sin and kept it in you pants.
But what do I know? I'm a terrible person. But I can't be held responsible for that. It's a condition. But I've learned to live with my condition and so should you. If I have to put up with this stupid shit about how the illiterate sons of bitches and the fuckers who want everything on a silver fucking platter aren't responsible for their stupid shit, then I've got a right to make shit fun of them. And the ugly fuckers. And the just plain fatass lazy fucks. And I've got the right to call that my condition, or my cultural fucking difference. Cause that shit is their fault, and I can make as much fun as I want if it's their own fault. Too bad my shit's not contagious. I might be a racist, elitist, tactless son of a bitch, but maybe that's my culture. Maybe where I was raised, people are taught to behave a certain way, and people are taught to treat themselves and others with a little fucking respect. Now it's just a fucking free-for-all. And maybe that's for the best. Cause you know who'll win a free-for-all? The people who can fucking read. And the people who can walk down a ten yard hallway without gasping for breath from lugging their fat ass out of both chairs they were sitting in. And say whatever you want about how terrible a person I am, but the good-looking people. Good-looking people always win out over ugly people. No one likes ugly, fat, lazy, illiterate fucks.
Happy Veterans' Day. And remember, America, ugly people are second class citizens. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
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